This feels tantalizingly close to the truth.

What the fuck are “unregretted user minutes”? I regret every minute any user spends on that site, so it should be zero.

You’re asking this in a community that’s specifically about doing piracy. Pretty hard to take your question seriously in this context.

Ideas for the new logo? I think he should go with a black-red motif, with lots of right angles.

Ah, 25 million per child? Finally a fine big enough to make a tech company feel conseque–

[Touches earpiece] one moment, I’m getting an update–

damn, zing

Bro I wasn’t looking for a technical explanation. I know how they work. We made computers worse. The thing isn’t even smart enough to say “I wasn’t designed to do math problems, perhaps we should focus on something where I can make up a bunch of research papers out of thin air?”

Why is “98%” supposed to sound good? We made a computer that can’t do math good

Movie studios: “This is definitely the most important thing we have to deal with right now”

OK, as long as all the well-meaning people stop discussing it, nobody will ever find out about it.

Son, this is not it.

I guarantee you if he puts a Zuckerberg tracker on Twitter, Elon won’t say shit about that one.